Knjiga Urantije
DIO III. Povijest Urantije
POGLAVLJE 83 : BRAČNA INSTITUCIJA
OVO je uvodna pripovijest o ranim počecima bračne institucije. Brak je postupno napredovao od raspuštenih i promiskuitetnih odnosa horde, kroz mnoge varijacije i prilagodbe, sve do pojave bračnih normi koje su s vremenom kulminirale u ostvarenju parnog braka — zajednice jednog muškarca i jedne žene — i utemeljenju doma kao najvišeg oblika društvenog poretka.
83:0.1 (922.1)
THIS is the recital of the early beginnings of the institution of marriage. It has progressed steadily from the loose and promiscuous matings of the herd through many variations and adaptations, even to the appearance of those marriage standards which eventually culminated in the realization of pair matings, the union of one man and one woman to establish a home of the highest social order.
Brak je mnogo puta bio u opasnosti, a bračni su se običaji stoga uvelike oslanjali i na imovinu i na religiju; ali stvarni utjecaj koji trajno štiti brak i obitelj koja iz njega proizlazi jest jednostavna i urođena biološka činjenica da muškarci i žene jednostavno ne mogu živjeti jedni bez drugih, bilo da je riječ o najprimitivnijim divljacima ili najkulturnijim smrtnicima.
83:0.2 (922.2)
Marriage has been many times in jeopardy, and the marriage mores have drawn heavily on both property and religion for support; but the real influence which forever safeguards marriage and the resultant family is the simple and innate biologic fact that men and women positively will not live without each other, be they the most primitive savages or the most cultured mortals.
Spolni nagon je poticaj koji navodi sebičnog muškarca da od sebe učini nešto više od životinje. Iako je primamljiv i ugodan, spolni odnos u isto vrijeme nosi određene posljedice samoodricanja te potiče altruistične dužnosti i brojne obiteljske obveze koje djeluju u korist cijele rase. Tako je spolnost bila neprepoznati i tajnoviti civilizator primitivnog čovjeka; jer taj isti spolni poriv automatski i nepogrešivo nagoni čovjeka na razmišljanje i s vremenom ga navodi na ljubav.
83:0.3 (922.3)
It is because of the sex urge that selfish man is lured into making something better than an animal out of himself. The self-regarding and self-gratifying sex relationship entails the certain consequences of self-denial and insures the assumption of altruistic duties and numerous race-benefiting home responsibilities. Herein has sex been the unrecognized and unsuspected civilizer of the savage; for this same sex impulse automatically and unerringly compels man to think and eventually leads him to love.
Obitelj, koja proizlazi iz braka, i sama stabilizira bračnu instituciju zajedno s imovinskim običajima. Drugi snažni čimbenici stabilnosti braka su ponos, taština, viteštvo, osjećaj dužnosti i religijska uvjerenja. Ali iako brakovi mogu biti odobravani ili neodobravani odozgo, teško bi se moglo reći da se sklapaju na nebu. Ljudska obitelj je posve ljudska institucija, proizvod evolucije. Brak je društvena ustanova, a ne područje djelovanja crkve. Istina, religija bi trebala snažno utjecati na njega, ali ne bi ga smjela isključivo nadzirati i uređivati.
83:1.4 (922.7)
The family, which grows out of marriage, is itself a stabilizer of the marriage institution together with the property mores. Other potent factors in marriage stability are pride, vanity, chivalry, duty, and religious convictions. But while marriages may be approved or disapproved on high, they are hardly made in heaven. The human family is a distinctly human institution, an evolutionary development. Marriage is an institution of society, not a department of the church. True, religion should mightily influence it but should not undertake exclusively to control and regulate it.
Primitivni brak bio je prvenstveno gospodarska institucija; a i u suvremeno doba često je društveni ili poslovni odnos. Pod utjecajem miješanja anditskog nasljeđa i kao posljedica običaja napredujuće civilizacije, brak postupno postaje uzajaman, romantičan, roditeljski, poetski, nježan, etičan pa čak i idealističan. Odabir partnera i takozvana romantična ljubav, međutim, u primitivnom su sparivanju bili minimalni. U ranim vremenima muž i žena nisu provodili mnogo vremena zajedno; često nisu čak ni jeli zajedno. No među drevnima osobna privrženost nije bila snažno povezana sa spolnom privlačnošću; dvoje ljudi postajalo bi sklono jedno drugome ponajviše zahvaljujući zajedničkom životu i radu.
83:1.5 (922.8)
Primitive marriage was primarily industrial; and even in modern times it is often a social or business affair. Through the influence of the mixture of the Andite stock and as a result of the mores of advancing civilization, marriage is slowly becoming mutual, romantic, parental, poetical, affectionate, ethical, and even idealistic. Selection and so-called romantic love, however, were at a minimum in primitive mating. During early times husband and wife were not much together; they did not even eat together very often. But among the ancients, personal affection was not strongly linked to sex attraction; they became fond of one another largely because of living and working together.
Primitivne brakove uvijek su planirali roditelji mladića i djevojke. Na prijelazu iz tog običaja u razdoblje slobodnog izbora pojavili su se profesionalni bračni posrednici ili provodadžije. Te su provodadžije isprva bili brijači; kasnije su to postali svećenici. Brak je isprva bio stvar skupine; zatim je postao obiteljska stvar, a tek je nedavno postao osobna avantura.
83:2.1 (923.1)
Primitive marriages were always planned by the parents of the boy and girl. The transition stage between this custom and the times of free choosing was occupied by the marriage broker or professional matchmaker. These matchmakers were at first the barbers; later, the priests. Marriage was originally a group affair; then a family matter; only recently has it become an individual adventure.
Prisila, a ne privlačnost, bila je osnova primitivnog braka. U ranim vremenima žena nije imala spolnu suzdržanost, nego samo spolnu podređenost, kako su to nametali društveni običaji. Kao što je pljačka prethodila trgovini, tako je brak otmicom prethodio braku po dogovoru. Neke su žene pristajale na otmicu kako bi izbjegle dominaciju starijih muškaraca iz svojega plemena; radije su dolazile u ruke mlađih muškaraca iz drugog plemena. Takav prividni bijeg obilježava prijelaz iz prisilne otmice u razdoblje romantičnog udvaranja.
83:2.2 (923.2)
Coercion, not attraction, was the approach to primitive marriage. In early times woman had no sex aloofness, only sex inferiority as inculcated by the mores. As raiding preceded trading, so marriage by capture preceded marriage by contract. Some women would connive at capture in order to escape the domination of the older men of their tribe; they preferred to fall into the hands of men of their own age from another tribe. This pseudo elopement was the transition stage between capture by force and subsequent courtship by charming.
Rani oblik vjenčane ceremonije bila je imitacija bijega, svojevrsna proba bijega koja je nekoć bila uobičajena praksa. Kasnije je i tobožnja otmica postala dijelom redovite svadbene ceremonije. Kada se suvremena djevojka pretvara da se opire “otmici,” da nerado pristaje na brak, to je relikt tih starih običaja. Nošenje mladenke preko praga podsjeća na brojne stare običaje, među ostalim i na vrijeme otmice nevjesta.
83:2.3 (923.3)
An early type of wedding ceremony was the mimic flight, a sort of elopement rehearsal which was once a common practice. Later, mock capture became a part of the regular wedding ceremony. A modern girl’s pretensions to resist “capture,” to be reticent toward marriage, are all relics of olden customs. The carrying of the bride over the threshold is reminiscent of a number of ancient practices, among others, of the days of wife stealing.
Ženi je dugo uskraćivana puna sloboda da samostalno odlučuje o bračnim pitanjima, premda su inteligentnije žene uvijek bile u stanju oštroumno zaobići to ograničenje. Muškarci su obično preuzimali inicijativu pri udvaranju, ali ne uvijek. Žena je ponekad, i formalno i neformalno, inicirala brak. Kako je civilizacija napredovala, žene su igrale sve veću ulogu u svim fazama udvaranja i braka.
83:2.4 (923.4)
Woman was long denied full freedom of self-disposal in marriage, but the more intelligent women have always been able to circumvent this restriction by the clever exercise of their wits. Man has usually taken the lead in courtship, but not always. Woman sometimes formally, as well as covertly, initiates marriage. And as civilization has progressed, women have had an increasing part in all phases of courtship and marriage.
Sve veća uloga ljubavi, romantike i osobnog izbora u predbračnom udvaranju anditski je doprinos svjetskim rasama. Odnosi između spolova razvijaju se povoljno; mnogi napredni narodi postupno zamjenjuju starije motive korisnosti i vlasništva donekle idealiziranim poimanjem spolne privlačnosti. Spolni poriv i osjećaji privrženosti počinju potiskivati hladnu računicu pri izboru životnih partnera.
83:2.5 (923.5)
Increasing love, romance, and personal selection in premarital courtship are an Andite contribution to the world races. The relations between the sexes are evolving favorably; many advancing peoples are gradually substituting somewhat idealized concepts of sex attraction for those older motives of utility and ownership. Sex impulse and feelings of affection are beginning to displace cold calculation in the choosing of life partners.
Drevni ljudi nisu vjerovali u ljubav i obećanja; smatrali su da trajne zajednice moraju biti osigurane nekom opipljivom garancijom, imovinom. Iz tog se razloga kupovna cijena nevjeste smatrala zalogom ili jamčevinom koju muž gubi u slučaju razvoda ili napuštanja žene. Nakon isplate cijene za nevjestu, u mnogim je plemenima muž imao dopuštenje da na nju utisne svoj žig. Afrikanci još uvijek kupuju svoje žene. Ženu koja se bira iz ljubavi, “ženu bijelog čovjeka”, oni uspoređuju s mačkom jer ne košta ništa.
83:3.1 (923.7)
The ancients mistrusted love and promises; they thought that abiding unions must be guaranteed by some tangible security, property. For this reason, the purchase price of a wife was regarded as a forfeit or deposit which the husband was doomed to lose in case of divorce or desertion. Once the purchase price of a bride had been paid, many tribes permitted the husband’s brand to be burned upon her. Africans still buy their wives. A love wife, or a white man’s wife, they compare to a cat because she costs nothing.
Parade nevjesta bile su prigode za odijevanje i ukrašavanje kćeri radi javnog izlaganja, s ciljem postizanja više cijene kao supruge. No nisu se prodavale kao stoka — među kasnijim plemenima takva žena nije bila prenosiva. Njezina kupnja također nije uvijek bila hladna novčana transakcija; mladić je mogao ili platiti ili odraditi svoju obvezu. Ako inače poželjan muškarac nije mogao platiti za svoju ženu, mogao je biti usvojen kao sin djevojčina oca i potom se oženiti. Ako bi siromašan čovjek tražio ženu, a nije mogao platiti cijenu koju je zahtijevao pohlepan otac, starješine bi često vršile pritisak na oca da ublaži svoje zahtjeve; u protivnom bi moglo doći do bijega.
83:3.2 (924.1)
The bride shows were occasions for dressing up and decorating daughters for public exhibition with the idea of their bringing higher prices as wives. But they were not sold as animals—among the later tribes such a wife was not transferable. Neither was her purchase always just a cold-blooded money transaction; service was equivalent to cash in the purchase of a wife. If an otherwise desirable man could not pay for his wife, he could be adopted as a son by the girl’s father and then could marry. And if a poor man sought a wife and could not meet the price demanded by a grasping father, the elders would often bring pressure to bear upon the father which would result in a modification of his demands, or else there might be an elopement.
Kako je civilizacija napredovala, očevi nisu voljeli ostavljati dojam da prodaju svoje kćeri, pa su, i dalje prihvaćajući novac za nevjestu, uveli običaj darivanja mladenaca vrijednim poklonima čija je vrijednost bila približno jednaka kupovnoj cijeni. A kada je kasnije ukinuto plaćanje za nevjestu, ti su darovi postali mladenkin miraz.
83:3.3 (924.2)
As civilization progressed, fathers did not like to appear to sell their daughters, and so, while continuing to accept the bride purchase price, they initiated the custom of giving the pair valuable presents which about equaled the purchase money. And upon the later discontinuance of payment for the bride, these presents became the bride’s dowry.
Ideja miraza bila je stvoriti dojam neovisnosti nevjeste, naglasiti njezino udaljavanje od vremena žena-robova i partnerica koje su bile tek vlasništvo. Muškarac nije mogao razvesti ženu koja je donijela miraz, a da u cijelosti ne vrati taj miraz. U nekim je plemenima postojao uzajamni polog kod roditelja i nevjeste i mladoženje, koji bi bio izgubljen ako bi jedno napustilo drugo — zapravo pravi bračni zalog. U prijelaznom razdoblju od kupnje do miraza, ako je žena bila kupljena, djeca su pripadala ocu; ako nije, pripadala su obitelji žene.
83:3.4 (924.3)
The idea of a dowry was to convey the impression of the bride’s independence, to suggest far removal from the times of slave wives and property companions. A man could not divorce a dowered wife without paying back the dowry in full. Among some tribes a mutual deposit was made with the parents of both bride and groom to be forfeited in case either deserted the other, in reality a marriage bond. During the period of transition from purchase to dowry, if the wife were purchased, the children belonged to the father; if not, they belonged to the wife’s family.
Magija, ritual i ceremonija prožimali su sve aspekte života drevnih ljudi, pa brak nije bio iznimka. Kako je civilizacija napredovala i kako se brak počeo shvaćati ozbiljnije, svadbene su ceremonije postajale sve raskošnije. Rani brak bio je povezan s imovinskim interesima, kao što je to i danas, i stoga je zahtijevao pravni obred, dok je društveni status djece zahtijevao što širu javnost. Primitivan čovjek nije imao zapise; stoga je bilo važno da svadbena ceremonija bude posvjedočena od strane što većeg broja ljudi.
83:4.2 (924.5)
Magic, ritual, and ceremony surrounded the entire life of the ancients, and marriage was no exception. As civilization advanced, as marriage became more seriously regarded, the wedding ceremony became increasingly pretentious. Early marriage was a factor in property interests, even as it is today, and therefore required a legal ceremony, while the social status of subsequent children demanded the widest possible publicity. Primitive man had no records; therefore must the marriage ceremony be witnessed by many persons.
Isprva je svadbena ceremonija bila više nalik zarukama i sastojala se samo u javnoj objavi namjere zajedničkog života; kasnije je uključivala i formalno zajedničko blagovanje. U nekim su plemenima roditelji jednostavno dovodili svoju kćer mužu; u drugima je jedina ceremonija bila svečana razmjena darova, nakon čega bi otac nevjeste predao kćer mladoženji. Među mnogim narodima Levanta bilo je uobičajeno izostaviti sve formalnosti, pa se brak sklapao spolnim odnosom. Crveni je čovjek prvi razvio raskošnije svadbene proslave.
83:4.3 (924.6)
At first the wedding ceremony was more on the order of a betrothal and consisted only in public notification of intention of living together; later it consisted in formal eating together. Among some tribes the parents simply took their daughter to the husband; in other cases the only ceremony was the formal exchange of presents, after which the bride’s father would present her to the groom. Among many Levantine peoples it was the custom to dispense with all formality, marriage being consummated by sex relations. The red man was the first to develop the more elaborate celebration of weddings.
Ljudi su se silno bojali da neće imati djece, a kako su neplodnost pripisivali djelovanju duhova, nastojali su osigurati plodnost povezivanjem braka s određenim magijskim ili religijskim obredima. U tom su nastojanju da osiguraju sretan i plodan brak koristili brojne amajlije; čak su se savjetovali s astrolozima kako bi utvrdili položaj zvijezda pri rođenju zaručnika. U jednom je razdoblju među imućnijima ljudska žrtva bila redovita pojava na svadbama.
83:4.4 (924.7)
Childlessness was greatly dreaded, and since barrenness was attributed to spirit machinations, efforts to insure fecundity also led to the association of marriage with certain magical or religious ceremonials. And in this effort to insure a happy and fertile marriage, many charms were employed; even the astrologers were consulted to ascertain the birth stars of the contracting parties. At one time the human sacrifice was a regular feature of all weddings among well-to-do people.
Tražili su se sretni dani, a četvrtak se smatrao osobito povoljnim; svadbe održane za punog mjeseca držale su se iznimno sretnima. U mnogim je bliskoistočnim narodima bio običaj bacati žito na mladence; to je bio magijski obred za koji se vjerovalo da osigurava plodnost. Neki su istočni narodi u tu svrhu koristili rižu.
83:4.5 (925.1)
Lucky days were sought out, Thursday being most favorably regarded, and weddings celebrated at the full of the moon were thought to be exceptionally fortunate. It was the custom of many Near Eastern peoples to throw grain upon the newlyweds; this was a magical rite which was supposed to insure fecundity. Certain Oriental peoples used rice for this purpose.
Vatra i voda oduvijek su se smatrale najboljim sredstvima zaštite od duhova i zlih sila; stoga su na svadbama obično bili prisutni oltarski oganj i zapaljene svijeće, kao i obredno škropljenje svetom vodom. Dugo je vremena bio običaj odrediti lažni datum vjenčanja, a zatim iznenada odgoditi događaj kako bi se zbunili duhovi i spriječilo njihovo uplitanje.
83:4.6 (925.2)
Fire and water were always considered the best means of resisting ghosts and evil spirits; hence altar fires and lighted candles, as well as the baptismal sprinkling of holy water, were usually in evidence at weddings. For a long time it was customary to set a false wedding day and then suddenly postpone the event so as to put the ghosts and spirits off the track.
Zadirkivanje i podvale mladencima na medenom mjesecu ostaci su starih vremena kada se vjerovalo da je najbolje djelovati jadno i nelagodno pred duhovima kako se ne bi pobudila njihova zavist. Nošenje svadbenog vela ostatak je vremena kada se smatralo potrebnim prikriti nevjestu kako je duhovi ne bi prepoznali i sakriti njezinu ljepotu od inače ljubomornih i zavidnih duhova. Nevjestine noge nisu smjele dotaknuti tlo neposredno prije ceremonije. Čak se i u dvadesetom stoljeću, prema kršćanskim običajima, zadržao običaj prostiranja tepiha od mjesta dolaska kočije do crkvenog oltara.
83:4.7 (925.3)
The teasing of newlyweds and the pranks played upon honeymooners are all relics of those far-distant days when it was thought best to appear miserable and ill at ease in the sight of the spirits so as to avoid arousing their envy. The wearing of the bridal veil is a relic of the times when it was considered necessary to disguise the bride so that ghosts might not recognize her and also to hide her beauty from the gaze of the otherwise jealous and envious spirits. The bride’s feet must never touch the ground just prior to the ceremony. Even in the twentieth century it is still the custom under the Christian mores to stretch carpets from the carriage landing to the church altar.
Jedan od najstarijih oblika svadbene ceremonije bio je da svećenik blagoslovi bračni krevet kako bi se osigurala plodnost; taj se običaj javio mnogo prije nego što su uspostavljeni formalni svadbeni obredi. Tijekom tog razdoblja u evoluciji bračnih običaja bilo je uobičajeno da svatovi noću prođu kroz bračnu odaju, čime su postajali zakonski svjedoci konzumacije braka.
83:4.8 (925.4)
One of the most ancient forms of the wedding ceremony was to have a priest bless the wedding bed to insure the fertility of the union; this was done long before any formal wedding ritual was established. During this period in the evolution of the marriage mores the wedding guests were expected to file through the bedchamber at night, thus constituting legal witness to the consummation of marriage.
Element sreće — činjenica da su, unatoč svim predbračnim ritualima, neki brakovi ipak bili neuspješni — naveo je primitivnog čovjeka da potraži zaštitu od bračnog neuspjeha; tako je započela potraga za svećenicima i magijom. Taj je pokret izravno kulminirao u suvremenim crkvenim vjenčanjima. No dugo se brak općenito smatrao sporazumom roditelja — kasnije sporazumom samoga para — dok su u posljednjih petsto godina crkva i država preuzele nadležnost i danas si prisvajaju pravo odlučivanja o sklapanju braka.
83:4.9 (925.5)
The luck element, that in spite of all premarital tests certain marriages turned out bad, led primitive man to seek insurance protection against marriage failure; led him to go in quest of priests and magic. And this movement culminated directly in modern church weddings. But for a long time marriage was generally recognized as consisting in the decisions of the contracting parents—later of the pair—while for the last five hundred years church and state have assumed jurisdiction and now presume to make pronouncements of marriage.
U ranoj povijesti braka neudane žene pripadale su muškarcima plemena. Kasnije je žena mogla imati samo jednog muža u isto vrijeme. Ta praksa jednog muškarca u isto vrijeme bila je prvi korak udaljavanja od promiskuiteta krda. Dok je ženi bio dopušten samo jedan muškarac, njezin je muž mogao takve privremene odnose prekinuti po svojoj volji. No te su labave veze bile prvi korak prema životu u paru, za razliku od života u krdu. U toj fazi razvoja braka djeca su obično pripadala majci.
83:5.1 (925.6)
In the early history of marriage the unmarried women belonged to the men of the tribe. Later on, a woman had only one husband at a time. This practice of one-man-at-a-time was the first step away from the promiscuity of the herd. While a woman was allowed but one man, her husband could sever such temporary relationships at will. But these loosely regulated associations were the first step toward living pairwise in distinction to living herdwise. In this stage of marriage development children usually belonged to the mother.
Sljedeći korak u evoluciji parenja bio je skupni brak. Ta zajednička faza braka morala se pojaviti u razvoju obiteljskog života jer bračni običaji još nisu bili dovoljno snažni da učine parne veze trajnima. Brakovi između braće i sestara pripadali su toj skupini; petorica braće iz jedne obitelji ženila bi se s pet sestara iz druge. Diljem svijeta labaviji oblici zajedničkog braka postupno su se razvijali u različite oblike skupnog braka. Te su skupne zajednice uvelike bile uređene totemskim običajima. Obiteljski se život razvijao polako, ali sigurno, jer su regulacija spolnih odnosa i braka pogodovale opstanku samog plemena osiguravajući preživljavanje većeg broja djece.
83:5.2 (925.7)
The next step in mating evolution was the group marriage. This communal phase of marriage had to intervene in the unfolding of family life because the marriage mores were not yet strong enough to make pair associations permanent. The brother and sister marriages belonged to this group; five brothers of one family would marry five sisters of another. All over the world the looser forms of communal marriage gradually evolved into various types of group marriage. And these group associations were largely regulated by the totem mores. Family life slowly and surely developed because sex and marriage regulation favored the survival of the tribe itself by insuring the survival of larger numbers of children.
Skupni brak postupno je ustupao mjesto novim praksama poligamije — mnogoženstvu i poliandriji — među naprednijim plemenima. No poliandrija nikada nije bila općeprihvaćena; obično je bila ograničena na kraljice i bogate žene, a najčešće je bila obiteljska stvar, kao u slučaju kada se jedna žena udaje za više braće iz iste obitelji. Klasna i ekonomska ograničenja ponekad su nalagala da se više muškaraca zadovolji jednom ženom. I tada bi se žena udavala samo za jednoga, dok su se ostali labavo tolerirali kao “ujaci” zajedničkog potomstva.
83:5.3 (926.1)
Group marriages gradually gave way before the emerging practices of polygamy—polygyny and polyandry—among the more advanced tribes. But polyandry was never general, being usually limited to queens and rich women; furthermore, it was customarily a family affair, one wife for several brothers. Caste and economic restrictions sometimes made it necessary for several men to content themselves with one wife. Even then, the woman would marry only one, the others being loosely tolerated as “uncles” of the joint progeny.
83:5.4 (926.2)
The Jewish custom requiring that a man consort with his deceased brother’s widow for the purpose of “raising up seed for his brother,” was the custom of more than half the ancient world. This was a relic of the time when marriage was a family affair rather than an individual association.
Istinsko mnogoženstvo, u kojem su sve žene imale jednak status i sva djeca bila jednaka, bilo je vrlo rijetko. Obično je, čak i u množinskim brakovima, domom dominirala glavna žena, zvanična supruga. Samo je ona imala svadbenu ceremoniju, a jedino su djeca takve kupljene ili mirazne žene mogla nasljeđivati, osim ako nije bilo drukčijeg dogovora sa zvaničnom suprugom.
83:5.10 (926.8)
True polygyny, where all the wives are of equal status and all the children equal, has been very rare. Usually, even with plural marriages, the home was dominated by the head wife, the status companion. She alone had the ritual wedding ceremony, and only the children of such a purchased or dowered spouse could inherit unless by special arrangement with the status wife.
Tabu supruga — jedina koja je imala pravni status — oblikovala je običaje priležništva. Prema tim običajima muškarac je mogao imati samo jednu ženu, ali je mogao održavati odnose s brojnim priležnicama. Priležništvo je bilo prijelazni korak prema monogamiji, prvi korak udaljavanja od otvorenog mnogoženstva. Priležnice kod Židova, Rimljana i Kineza obično su bile sluškinje supruge. Kasnije se, kao među Židovima, zakonita supruga smatrala majkom sve djece rođene mužu.
83:5.12 (926.10)
The taboo wife—one wife of legal status—created the concubine mores. Under these mores a man might have only one wife, but he could maintain sex relations with any number of concubines. Concubinage was the steppingstone to monogamy, the first move away from frank polygyny. The concubines of the Jews, Romans, and Chinese were very frequently the handmaidens of the wife. Later on, as among the Jews, the legal wife was looked upon as the mother of all children born to the husband.
Stari tabui koji su zabranjivali spolne odnose s trudnom ženom ili dojiljom uvelike su pogodovali razvoju mnogoženstva. Primitivne žene rano su starjele zbog čestog rađanja u kombinaciji s napornim radom. (Takve su preopterećene žene uspijevale opstati samo zato što su provodile jedan tjedan svakog mjeseca u izolaciji, kada nisu bile trudne.) Takva bi žena često postala iscrpljena od rađanja i tražila od muža da uzme mlađu ženu, sposobnu pomoći i pri rađanju djece i u kućanskim poslovima. Starije su supruge stoga obično s radošću dočekivale mlađe žene; nije bilo ni traga spolnoj ljubomori.
83:5.13 (926.11)
The olden taboos on sex relations with a pregnant or nursing wife tended greatly to foster polygyny. Primitive women aged very early because of frequent childbearing coupled with hard work. (Such overburdened wives only managed to exist by virtue of the fact that they were put in isolation one week out of each month when they were not heavy with child.) Such a wife often grew tired of bearing children and would request her husband to take a second and younger wife, one able to help with both childbearing and the domestic work. The new wives were therefore usually hailed with delight by the older spouses; there existed nothing on the order of sex jealousy.
Broj žena bio je ograničen samo muškarčevom sposobnošću da ih uzdržava. Bogatiji i sposobniji muškarci željeli su imati mnogo djece, a budući da je smrtnost dojenčadi bila vrlo visoka, bio je potreban veći broj žena kako bi se stvorila velika obitelj. Mnoge od tih dodatnih žena bile su tek radna snaga, robinje.
83:5.14 (926.12)
The number of wives was only limited by the ability of the man to provide for them. Wealthy and able men wanted large numbers of children, and since the infant mortality was very high, it required an assembly of wives to recruit a large family. Many of these plural wives were mere laborers, slave wives.
Ljudski običaji evoluiraju, ali vrlo sporo. Svrha harema bila je osigurati snažnu i brojnu skupinu krvnih srodnika za potporu prijestolju. Jedan je vladar nekoć zaključio da ne treba imati harem, da se treba zadovoljiti jednom ženom; stoga je odmah raspustio svoj harem. Nezadovoljne supruge vratile su se svojim domovima, a njihovi uvrijeđeni rođaci obrušili su se na vladara i ubili ga na licu mjesta.
83:5.15 (927.1)
Human customs evolve, but very slowly. The purpose of a harem was to build up a strong and numerous body of blood kin for the support of the throne. A certain chief was once convinced that he should not have a harem, that he should be contented with one wife; so he promptly dismissed his harem. The dissatisfied wives went to their homes, and their offended relatives swept down on the chief in wrath and did away with him then and there.
Kaldejska su plemena priznavala pravo žene da od svojega muža zahtijeva obećanje da neće uzeti drugu ženu ili priležnicu; i Grci i Rimljani davali su prednost monogamnom braku. Štovanje predaka uvijek je poticalo monogamiju, kao i kršćanska zabluda da se brak smatra sakramentom. Čak je i porast životnog standarda dosljedno djelovao protiv poligamije. U vrijeme Mihaelova dolaska na Urantiju gotovo je cijeli civilizirani svijet dosegao razinu teorijske monogamije. No ta pasivna monogamija nije značila da se čovječanstvo ustalilo u praksi stvarnog parnog braka.
83:6.3 (927.4)
The Chaldean tribes recognized the right of a wife to impose a premarital pledge upon her spouse not to take a second wife or concubine; both the Greeks and the Romans favored monogamous marriage. Ancestor worship has always fostered monogamy, as has the Christian error of regarding marriage as a sacrament. Even the elevation of the standard of living has consistently militated against plural wives. By the time of Michael’s advent on Urantia practically all of the civilized world had attained the level of theoretical monogamy. But this passive monogamy did not mean that mankind had become habituated to the practice of real pair marriage.
Težeći ostvarenju monogamnog cilja idealnog parnog braka — koji je, naposljetku, ponešto isključiv oblik spolne zajednice — društvo ne smije previdjeti nezavidan položaj onih nesretnih muškaraca i žena koji ne nalaze svoje mjesto u tom novom i unaprijeđenom društvenom poretku, čak i kada učine sve što je u njihovoj moći da se usklade i povinuju njegovim zahtjevima. Neuspjeh u pronalaženju partnera u društvenoj “areni” natjecanja može biti posljedica nepremostivih teškoća i brojnih ograničenja koja nameću važeći društveni običaji. Doista, monogamija je ideal za one koji su “unutra”, ali neizbježno otežava život onima koji ostaju izvan nje, u hladnoći samotnog života.
83:6.4 (927.5)
While pursuing the monogamic goal of the ideal pair marriage, which is, after all, something of a monopolistic sex association, society must not overlook the unenviable situation of those unfortunate men and women who fail to find a place in this new and improved social order, even when having done their best to co-operate with, and enter into, its requirements. Failure to gain mates in the social arena of competition may be due to insurmountable difficulties or multitudinous restrictions which the current mores have imposed. Truly, monogamy is ideal for those who are in, but it must inevitably work great hardship on those who are left out in the cold of solitary existence.
Uvijek je nesretna manjina morala trpjeti kako bi većina napredovala pod okriljem razvijajućih društvenih običaja evoluirajuće civilizacije; ali povlaštena većina uvijek treba gledati s ljubaznošću i obzirnošću na svoje manje sretne bližnje, koji moraju platiti cijenu neuspjeha u postizanju članstva u tim idealnim spolnim partnerstvima koja omogućuju zadovoljstvo svih bioloških poriva pod okriljem najviših običaja napredujuće društvene evolucije.
83:6.5 (927.6)
Always have the unfortunate few had to suffer that the majority might advance under the developing mores of evolving civilization; but always should the favored majority look with kindness and consideration on their less fortunate fellows who must pay the price of failure to attain membership in the ranks of those ideal sex partnerships which afford the satisfaction of all biologic urges under the sanction of the highest mores of advancing social evolution.
83:6.6 (927.7)
Monogamy always has been, now is, and forever will be the idealistic goal of human sex evolution. This ideal of true pair marriage entails self-denial, and therefore does it so often fail just because one or both of the contracting parties are deficient in that acme of all human virtues, rugged self-control.
Monogamija je mjerilo kojim se procjenjuje napredak društvene civilizacije, za razliku od čisto biološke evolucije. Monogamija nije nužno biološka ni prirodna, ali je neophodna za neposredno održavanje i daljnji razvoj društvene civilizacije. Ona doprinosi profinjenosti osjećaja, usavršavanju moralnog karaktera i duhovnom rastu, što je posve nemoguće u poligamiji. Žena nikada ne može postati idealna majka ako je stalno prisiljena natjecati se za muževu naklonost.
83:6.7 (927.8)
Monogamy is the yardstick which measures the advance of social civilization as distinguished from purely biologic evolution. Monogamy is not necessarily biologic or natural, but it is indispensable to the immediate maintenance and further development of social civilization. It contributes to a delicacy of sentiment, a refinement of moral character, and a spiritual growth which are utterly impossible in polygamy. A woman never can become an ideal mother when she is all the while compelled to engage in rivalry for her husband’s affections.
Parni brak potiče i razvija ono prisno razumijevanje i djelotvornu suradnju koje su najpovoljnije za roditeljsku sreću, dobrobit djece i društvenu učinkovitost. Brak, koji je započeo kao gruba prisila, postupno se razvija u veličanstvenu ustanovu samokulture, samokontrole, samoizražavanja i samoodržanja.
83:6.8 (928.1)
Pair marriage favors and fosters that intimate understanding and effective co-operation which is best for parental happiness, child welfare, and social efficiency. Marriage, which began in crude coercion, is gradually evolving into a magnificent institution of self-culture, self-control, self-expression, and self-perpetuation.
Među primitivnim narodima tek je oko polovice brakova bilo uspješno. Najčešći razlog rastave bila je neplodnost, koja se uvijek pripisivala ženi; a vjerovalo se da žene bez djece u svijetu duhova postaju zmije. Prema primitivnijim običajima razvod je bio isključivo u rukama muškarca, i takvi su se standardi među nekim narodima zadržali sve do dvadesetog stoljeća.
83:7.2 (928.3)
Among primitive peoples only about one half the marriages proved satisfactory. The most frequent cause for separation was barrenness, which was always blamed on the wife; and childless wives were believed to become snakes in the spirit world. Under the more primitive mores, divorce was had at the option of the man alone, and these standards have persisted to the twentieth century among some peoples.
Kako su se običaji razvijali, neka su plemena razvila dva oblika braka: obični, koji je dopuštao razvod, i svećenički, koji ga nije dopuštao. Uvođenjem kupnje nevjeste i miraza uvedena je imovinska kazna za neuspjeh braka, što je uvelike smanjilo broj razvoda. I doista, taj prastari imovinski čimbenik i danas pridonosi stabilnosti mnogih suvremenih zajednica.
83:7.3 (928.4)
As the mores evolved, certain tribes developed two forms of marriage: the ordinary, which permitted divorce, and the priest marriage, which did not allow for separation. The inauguration of wife purchase and wife dowry, by introducing a property penalty for marriage failure, did much to lessen separation. And, indeed, many modern unions are stabilized by this ancient property factor.
Strah od gubitka društvenog položaja i imovinskih povlastica uvijek je jačao običaje i tabue koji održavaju brak. Kroz stoljeća brak je postupno napredovao i u suvremenom svijetu stoji na visokoj razini, unatoč tome što je među onim narodima kod kojih osobni izbor — novostečena sloboda — ima najveću ulogu u sklapanju braka izložen ozbiljnoj prijetnji sve šireg nezadovoljstva. Dok se takva previranja javljaju među naprednijim rasama kao posljedica naglo ubrzane društvene evolucije, među manje razvijenim narodima brak i dalje napreduje i polako se poboljšava pod utjecajem starijih običaja.
83:7.4 (928.5)
The social pressure of community standing and property privileges has always been potent in the maintenance of the marriage taboos and mores. Down through the ages marriage has made steady progress and stands on advanced ground in the modern world, notwithstanding that it is threateningly assailed by widespread dissatisfaction among those peoples where individual choice—a new liberty—figures most largely. While these upheavals of adjustment appear among the more progressive races as a result of suddenly accelerated social evolution, among the less advanced peoples marriage continues to thrive and slowly improve under the guidance of the older mores.
Nova i nagla zamjena starijeg i duboko ukorijenjenog imovinskog motiva idealnijim, ali izrazito individualističkim motivom ljubavi u braku neminovno je uzrokovala privremenu nestabilnost bračne ustanove. Motivi koji su čovjeka navodili na sklapanje braka uvijek su daleko nadilazili stvarne bračne običaje koji su njime upravljali, a u devetnaestom stoljeću zapadnjački ideal braka iznenada je nadmašio sebične, ali tek djelomično obuzdane spolne nagone rasa. Prisutnost velikog broja neoženjenih i neudanih osoba u bilo kojem društvu ukazuje na privremeni slom ili prijelazno stanje u razvoju običaja.
83:7.5 (928.6)
The new and sudden substitution of the more ideal but extremely individualistic love motive in marriage for the older and long-established property motive, has unavoidably caused the marriage institution to become temporarily unstable. Man’s marriage motives have always far transcended actual marriage morals, and in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries the Occidental ideal of marriage has suddenly far outrun the self-centered and but partially controlled sex impulses of the races. The presence of large numbers of unmarried persons in any society indicates the temporary breakdown or the transition of the mores.
Pravi test braka kroz mnoga stoljeća bilo je održavanje trajne intimnosti koja je neizostavan dio obiteljskog života. Dvoje prezaštićenih i razmaženih mladih ljudi, odgojenih da očekuju svaku nasladu i potpuno zadovoljenje taštine i ega, teško se mogu nadati većem uspjehu u braku i izgradnji doma — doživotnom partnerstvu samoodricanja, kompromisa, odanosti i nesebične predanosti podizanju djece.
83:7.6 (928.7)
The real test of marriage, all down through the ages, has been that continuous intimacy which is inescapable in all family life. Two pampered and spoiled youths, educated to expect every indulgence and full gratification of vanity and ego, can hardly hope to make a great success of marriage and home building—a lifelong partnership of self-effacement, compromise, devotion, and unselfish dedication to child culture.
Tolike fantazije i romantični snovi na početku udvaranja u velikoj su mjeri odgovorni za porast stope razvoda među suvremenim zapadnim narodima, što je dodatno otežano sve većom osobnom slobodom žene i njezinom povećanom gospodarskom neovisnošću. Lakoća razvoda, kada proizlazi iz nedostatka samokontrole ili neuspjeha u normalnoj prilagodbi ličnosti, vodi izravno natrag u one sirove društvene faze iz kojih je čovjek tek nedavno uznapredovao, i to uz neizrecivu osobnu tjeskobu i rasne patnje.
83:7.7 (929.1)
The high degree of imagination and fantastic romance entering into courtship is largely responsible for the increasing divorce tendencies among modern Occidental peoples, all of which is further complicated by woman’s greater personal freedom and increased economic liberty. Easy divorce, when the result of lack of self-control or failure of normal personality adjustment, only leads directly back to those crude societal stages from which man has emerged so recently and as the result of so much personal anguish and racial suffering.
No dokle god društvo ne bude u stanju prikladno odgajati djecu i mlade, dokle god društveni poredak ne osigura odgovarajuću predbračnu pripremu, i dokle god nepromišljen i nezreo mladenački idealizam bude odlučujući čimbenik pri stupanju u brak, dotle će razvod ostati raširen. A u onoj mjeri u kojoj društvena skupina ne uspije pripremiti mlade za brak, razvod mora funkcionirati kao društveni sigurnosni ventil koji sprječava još gore posljedice u razdoblju brzog razvoja evoluirajućih običaja.
83:7.8 (929.2)
But just so long as society fails to properly educate children and youths, so long as the social order fails to provide adequate premarital training, and so long as unwise and immature youthful idealism is to be the arbiter of the entrance upon marriage, just so long will divorce remain prevalent. And in so far as the social group falls short of providing marriage preparation for youths, to that extent must divorce function as the social safety valve which prevents still worse situations during the ages of the rapid growth of the evolving mores.
Stari narodi su se odnosili prema braku jednako ozbiljno kao i neki ljudi današnjice. I ne čini se da mnogi nepromišljeni i neuspješni brakovi suvremenog doba predstavljaju neko osobito poboljšanje u odnosu na stare prakse pripreme mladih muškaraca i žena za brak. Velika nedosljednost suvremenog društva leži u veličanju ljubavi i idealiziranju braka, dok u isto vrijeme ne odobrava njihovo temeljito ispitivanje i razumijevanje.
83:7.9 (929.3)
The ancients seem to have regarded marriage just about as seriously as some present-day people do. And it does not appear that many of the hasty and unsuccessful marriages of modern times are much of an improvement over the ancient practices of qualifying young men and women for mating. The great inconsistency of modern society is to exalt love and to idealize marriage while disapproving of the fullest examination of both.
Brak koji kulminira u uspostavi doma doista je čovjekova najuzvišenija institucija, ali je u svojoj biti ljudski; nikada nije trebao biti smatran sakramentom. Setitski su svećenici pretvorili brak u religijski obred, ali je tisućama godina nakon Edena sklapanje bračnih veza i dalje ostalo čisto društvena i građanska ustanova.
83:8.1 (929.4)
Marriage which culminates in the home is indeed man’s most exalted institution, but it is essentially human; it should never have been called a sacrament. The Sethite priests made marriage a religious ritual; but for thousands of years after Eden, mating continued as a purely social and civil institution.
Vrlo je nesretno poistovjećivati ljudske veze s božanskim vezama. Bračno-obiteljski odnos muža i žene materijalna je funkcija među smrtnicima evolucijskih svjetova. Istina je, doista, da se znatan duhovni napredak može postići iskrenim nastojanjima muža i žene da napreduju, ali to ne znači da je brak nužno svet. Duhovni napredak prati iskrenu primjenu u drugim područjima ljudskog djelovanja.
83:8.2 (929.5)
The likening of human associations to divine associations is most unfortunate. The union of husband and wife in the marriage-home relationship is a material function of the mortals of the evolutionary worlds. True, indeed, much spiritual progress may accrue consequent upon the sincere human efforts of husband and wife to progress, but this does not mean that marriage is necessarily sacred. Spiritual progress is attendant upon sincere application to other avenues of human endeavor.
Niti se brak može istinski usporediti s odnosom Ispravljača prema čovjeku niti s bratstvom Krista Mihaela i njegove ljudske braće. Gotovo ni u jednoj točki takvi odnosi nisu usporedivi sa zajednicom muža i žene. I vrlo je nesretno što su ljudske zablude u tumačenju tih odnosa proizvele toliku zbrku u pogledu statusa braka.
83:8.3 (929.6)
Neither can marriage be truly compared to the relation of the Adjuster to man nor to the fraternity of Christ Michael and his human brethren. At scarcely any point are such relationships comparable to the association of husband and wife. And it is most unfortunate that the human misconception of these relationships has produced so much confusion as to the status of marriage.
Također je nesretno što određene skupine smrtnika vjeruju da se brak sklapa božanskim djelovanjem. Takva uvjerenja izravno vode pojmu nerazrješivosti bračnog stanja, bez obzira na okolnosti ili želje ugovornih strana. Sama činjenica razrješenja braka pokazuje da Božanstvo ne sudjeluje u sklapanju takvih veza. Ako Bog jednom spoji dvije stvari ili osobe, one ostaju spojene sve dok božanska volja ne odredi njihovo razdvajanje. No, kad je riječ o braku, koji je ljudska ustanova, tko bi se usudio reći koji su brakovi takve zajednice koje bi mogle biti odobrene od nadzornika svemira, a koje su čisto ljudske po svojoj naravi i porijeklu?
83:8.4 (929.7)
It is also unfortunate that certain groups of mortals have conceived of marriage as being consummated by divine action. Such beliefs lead directly to the concept of the indissolubility of the marital state regardless of the circumstances or wishes of the contracting parties. But the very fact of marriage dissolution itself indicates that Deity is not a conjoining party to such unions. If God has once joined any two things or persons together, they will remain thus joined until such a time as the divine will decrees their separation. But, regarding marriage, which is a human institution, who shall presume to sit in judgment, to say which marriages are unions that might be approved by the universe supervisors in contrast with those which are purely human in nature and origin?
83:8.5 (930.1)
Nevertheless, there is an ideal of marriage on the spheres on high. On the capital of each local system the Material Sons and Daughters of God do portray the height of the ideals of the union of man and woman in the bonds of marriage and for the purpose of procreating and rearing offspring. After all, the ideal mortal marriage is humanly sacred.
Brak je uvijek bio i ostaje čovjekov vrhovni san vremenske idealnosti. Iako se taj lijepi san rijetko potpuno ostvaruje, on ostaje uzvišen i veličanstven ideal koji neprestano mami napredujuće čovječanstvo na veće težnje prema ljudskoj sreći. No mladi muškarci i žene trebaju naučiti nešto o stvarnostima braka prije nego što budu suočeni sa zahtjevnim međuodnosima obiteljskog života; mladenačka idealizacija treba biti ublažena određenom mjerom predbračnog razočaranja.
83:8.6 (930.2)
Marriage always has been and still is man’s supreme dream of temporal ideality. Though this beautiful dream is seldom realized in its entirety, it endures as a glorious ideal, ever luring progressing mankind on to greater strivings for human happiness. But young men and women should be taught something of the realities of marriage before they are plunged into the exacting demands of the interassociations of family life; youthful idealization should be tempered with some degree of premarital disillusionment.
83:8.7 (930.3)
The youthful idealization of marriage should not, however, be discouraged; such dreams are the visualization of the future goal of family life. This attitude is both stimulating and helpful providing it does not produce an insensitivity to the realization of the practical and commonplace requirements of marriage and subsequent family life.
Bračni ideal znatno je napredovao u novije vrijeme; među nekim narodima žena uživa gotovo jednaka prava kao i njezin muž. Ako ništa drugo, barem u teoriji, obitelj postaje vjerno partnerstvo u podizanju potomstva, praćeno spolnom vjernošću. No ni ova novija verzija braka ne treba ići tako daleko u krajnost da nameće isključivi monopol nad cjelokupnom osobnošću i individualnošću. Brak nije samo individualistički ideal; on je evoluirajuće društveno partnerstvo muškarca i žene koje postoji i djeluje pod važećim običajima, ograničeno tabuima i provedeno zakonima i propisima društva.
83:8.8 (930.4)
The ideals of marriage have made great progress in recent times; among some peoples woman enjoys practically equal rights with her consort. In concept, at least, the family is becoming a loyal partnership for rearing offspring, accompanied by sexual fidelity. But even this newer version of marriage need not presume to swing so far to the extreme as to confer mutual monopoly of all personality and individuality. Marriage is not just an individualistic ideal; it is the evolving social partnership of a man and a woman, existing and functioning under the current mores, restricted by the taboos, and enforced by the laws and regulations of society.
Brakovi dvadesetog stoljeća znatno su napredniji od onih iz prošlih razdoblja, unatoč tome što institucija doma trenutačno prolazi kroz ozbiljnu kušnju zbog problema koji su tako naglo zahvatili društvenu organizaciju uslijed iznenadnog povećanja sloboda žene, prava koja su joj bila dugo uskraćivana tijekom sporog razvoja društvenih običaja.
83:8.9 (930.5)
Twentieth-century marriages stand high in comparison with those of past ages, notwithstanding that the home institution is now undergoing a serious testing because of the problems so suddenly thrust upon the social organization by the precipitate augmentation of woman’s liberties, rights so long denied her in the tardy evolution of the mores of past generations.